Nightstand App for iPhone/iPod Touch

One of the really cool things about new technology is its ability to replace our old timey gadgets in a new and innovative way. Along with SatNavs, cameras and mp3 players, the iPhone is replacing many common household items and converging everything into one handy ‘everything-in-one’ device. What an age we live in. (sarcasm?)

Anyway… Nightstand is an alarm clock app from developers at SpoonJuice that mimics the function of a standard digital alarm clock. It has several different clock faces from standard red, green and blue, classic LCD and my personal favourite the flip clock (as pictured).

My initial reaction after purchasing this app? Its not bad. Its nothing amazing either. But then do I really need an all singing and dancing alarm clock? No, I just need something that wakes me up in the morning. That said, it comes with all the features you’d associate with an alarm clock: an alarm, a choice of alarm sounds, and it tells the time.  So far so good. Did I mention it also tells the time in binary too? One for the geeks and something that would most likely end up with me sleeping in for work in the morning. Nice quirky feature nonetheless.

It doesn’t go as far as being a radio alarm clock. Instead it goes for the next best thing, using music from your iPod playlists instead. Nothing like a bit of T-Rex glam rock followed by Bolero Ravel to get my morning started (as you now realise, my music tastes are questionable).

One particular feature that sets it aside from other alarm clock apps is the maths function which forces you to endure a series of mathematical puzzles before the alarm will switch off thus forcing your mind to wake up. Although this may seem like an excellent idea, even in a semi-awakened state it doesn’t take the average user much to realise that simply pressing the iPhone’s home button will minimise the app and switch off the alarm. Nice try SpoonJuice, needs more work. All is not lost though. In standard mode to switch the alarm off you have to press the tiny alarm icon at the top right of the screen. You may not think this would be a big deal but even with all my wit about me I found myself pressing, pressing and pressing the icon with no response from the application. The shear irritation and frustration of being unable to switch off the alarm was more than enough to awaken me and set the bad tone for the rest of the day. Unquestionably this was a more effective method of waking me up than the maths puzzles but also I fear an unintended side effect of poor programming.

A feature that it lacks is multiple alarms. Currently you can only set one alarm on it unlike the default iPhone alarm app which lets you create as many alarms as you want. A way to prevent simply pressing the iPhone’s home button to circumvent the maths puzzles would also be an advisable update to this app as well.

At £0.59** you can’t really fault the value of this app. If you’re looking for something a little more stylish than the default alarm clock that comes with your iPhone then this app does the job. Its shiny, looks good at your bedside and does its job reasonably well. However do I actually use the app as an alarm clock? Alas no. I switch my phone off at night.

** Correct as of 28 Aug 09

Good News Everyone!

I’ve invented a device which makes you read this sentence in your head using my voice!

8 Customers You May Encounter in a Petrol Station

We’ve all been there.  Most of us have ended up working in a customer service job at some point, be it in a shop, in a coffee house or the guy who delivers your pizza.

Even if you love your job there will still be some customers who make you roll your eyes and facepalm.  Working in a petrol filling station shop produces some of the more interesting vagrants in our society:

#8  The “but the place down the road sells it” customer

Why are you here then?  One must remember what a petrol station is…  a fucking petrol station with its core product being petrol.  The retail space is limited and we have to be strategic with what we sell in order to maximise sales.  This is generally considered to be good business practise.  If you wanted to buy frozen peas then I’m afraid your out of luck, its generally not something you think ‘oh, I could  go to the petrol station to get that’.

#7  Customers who don’t know how to use the towel dispenser

Like the customers who cannot grasp the concept of pulling on the handle on the front of the towel dispenser, I cannot fathom why this basic function can be so complicated to so many.  They turn around and march up to my till demanding that I refill the empty towel dispensers as they have fuel on their hands and I have a legal obligation to ensure towel dispensers are always full.  Far be it from me to insult our customers intelligence but if the only thing I can do is show the customer how to pull the handle up and down to resolve the issue then thats just something I’ll have to live with.  This is what you get for making a big scene.

#6  Customers who stretch the petrol hose further than its design limits

I don’t mind if pumps are busy and you are left with no choice but to park at the wrong side of your fuel cap however there is no need to be swinging from the pump like a primate even though it personifies what many of us customer service workers think of you.  Don’t look surprised if your fuel stops, thats the automatic cut off which prevents you from killing us all when the hose finally gives way and petrol blasts everywhere.

#5  First thing in the morning customers who pay for their £5 fuel with a £50 note

Its the morning.  Do you honestly expect me to have that much money in my till?  You pay with a £50 note, you’re getting 1p’s as your change.

#4  Customers who slam the money down and walk away

This can also be classed as customers who shove their credit card in the  card machine without telling you anything.  I’m not a mind reader, my till is not a genius and you’re probably not important enough for me to know who you are.  Tell me what pump number you filled up at and I promise not to have any further conversation with you.  A promise I will keep.

#3  Customers who come to you to tell you that the rival is cheaper

Is the petrol station down the road really a penny cheaper per litre than us?  Maybe you should tell the company.  No that aint me I’m afraid.  I serve for the company but if you wish to complain to the company then they are probably the folk you want to talk to.  You may ask me for their number, it comes with complimentary cynicism.

#2  Customers who cannot wait for the previous customer to close their purse before butting in to pay

Call me antiquated however I was brought up with manners.  When a customer has just finished paying and is putting their credit card back into their wallet this is not the time for you to pay.  Just wait a few more seconds.  I know its agonising and you are dying to get out but just remember I have to work in here 8 hours a day so if I can do that then you can wait a few more seconds.  I’m afraid I’m not talking about young people here.  Every single customer who does this is much older. Kinda shits all over the ‘respect your elders’ theory.

#1  Customers who chap on the window after the petrol station has closed gesturing the ‘I only want cigarettes’ signal

You only want cigarettes?  Well I only want to finish up and go home.  But even so me declining your pleas for cigarettes is not my decision.  When the doors are locked, they’re locked.  When the tills are emptied of cash, they’re empty.  Serving you is not possible and I’m not going to put myself and colleagues at risk by opening the doors for you at such a late hour.  Make a big deal about it if you wish sir, I’m going home in a minute.

AVG Wont Leave

To a point I believed that AVG’s free antivirus was a god send, free!  What could go wrong?

Well 51 things to be exact.  A quick scan from a different antivirus revealed that my flatmate, AVG, had been lounging around not actually doing much antivirus work while trojans and viruses had secretely moved in and began gnawing away at the woodworks.

So anyway to resolve the situation I decided to invest in a copy of Kaspersky’s Antivirus but alas AVG had left all its things behind after the uninstall and Kaspersky refused to move in until all of AVG’s registry items were binned.  Not as easy as it sounded as they were well hidden.  It took some special program removing software but I tracked all the wee fuckers down afterwhich Kaserpsky was now cool with it and installed.

So this blog is a big thankyou to AVG.  Thanks for moving in and doing fuck all.  Thanks for missing 51 trojans and viruses.  Thanks for finishing the milk and erasing all my answering machine messages before I got home.  And thanks for making it as difficult as possible for me to install another antivirus to replace your jealous lazy ass.